day 8

Wednesday, September 09, 2009 9:17 PM

Colors

I took my nephew and my nephews friend to the San Diego zoo on a beautiful balmy summer day. I was so rejoiced to see how my nephew embraced the beautiful animals of the beautiful San Diego zoo. I was amazed how he mentioned over and over about the majestic colors of orangutans , exotic birds, the zebras, lions, the giraffes’ and almost every creature of the animal kingdom. It wasn’t just the incredible journey of learning about these new creatures in his life I absorbed. It was how he just adored the tranquil unsuspecting flamboyant colors that these animals carried and how well they strutted so proud to be what they were. You see I was so happy to hear his proclamations because as a bi-racial child, his color was often a pit for ridicule. Seeing that my nephew was not going to be deterred, distracted or jaded about color. Be it on him or these beautiful animals of this beautiful zoo. I could not but be inspired to when I finally arrived home, scribble these words down for us all and especially those who may see color in a different light.

I see color
Color that is so clear
Red for that rose
Brown in the bear
Blue on the sky
Oh, how beautiful to see
Green for the grass
Yellow and black in that bumble bee

Love, colors,

Plentiful

Look all around

Influence
For this I have found

But lost in this oasis are the colors of we
Brown, black, white,
The bare colors for all

For us

See

So why in one instance
These colors held in awe
Can in the next breath
Create hatred so near and far
Call me simple
It may be true
For me
All colors look more splendid
On you
You and youday 9Wednesday, September 09, 2009 9:17 PMI am not the man I use to be!

Having lunch with a friend of mine yesterday, well actually tacos, we were having tacos prior to going to the gym......The conversation was initiated by me , I was commenting on how much I have fallen or thought I had fallen in regards to my body , my looks , my life...I had 4 months ago been in a hospital bed fighting off pneumonia, it took all my might and I lost 25 pounds in that fight...well that seems along time ago, but today, when we were speaking, the conversation brought me to days,years of old, a long but not so long ago time. I shared to him my hurtful emotion, I told him, "Look at me" , am I not good looking am I not sexy! "am I not hot",,,,,bless his soul , he could only respond one way, What would your friend do? ....."Mark" , you are sexy to me, you are hot to me,,,,,,,there it was, the dreaded sexy to ME, hot to ME, line........All my years of life, my body, my face, was what got me everywhere.....I trusted in my body and my looks to get me to success... All these years it never failed, never wavered,...but then came pneumonia. pnenumonia wiped out all my confidence in a 3 week period., so as I thought about not being the same man I used to be, I wondered back to the days in palm springs when I partied to much, professed to much, was drunk too much and had way too many sexual partners to ever protest to much.. ... Was that me? was that the man I was? Yes it was, and so as I struggle to regain my,,, lets just call it form , I want to share with all of you ,,,,,I am not the man I use to be: and boy am I happy for that !!!!!