day 5

Wednesday, September 09, 2009 9:18 PM

A new beginning

I thought the other day; I thought to myself, I need a new beginning. A new beginning to be able to laugh again, love again, be happy again, this life, my life now was depressing me, letting me down ………my health had failed me, my job paid too little, I had no love life , I was drinking a little to much, my once proud body was a little beat up, I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for me, it was not fair, why me?, I deserve much more….Then it dawned on me, My life did not let me down, my life was not depressing me,,,,,, it was me…..me who was depressing me ,me who was letting me down. Me who drank a little too much……I was looking for the easy way out , I was trying to blame something or someone for my unhappiness…well truth be told, I blame me,,, I control my actions, I control my mind, I control my job, I control my body….. I control……..I was right about a new beginning but my approach had been wrong, I can have a new beginning here, I will demand from myself that I start fresh, fresh with the new sunrise, fresh with the sunset, It is my life, my responsibility, not yours, not theirs, no mine and mine alone.
Take hold of your life as I have taken hold of mine, if you do not like your job –you change it , you do not have a love life ,find it…..you drink too much, cut back….if we do not get motivated to help ourselves…who will? A new beginning I yearned for and a new beginning I found without ever moving from this keyboard……