day 10

Wednesday, September 09, 2009 9:17 PM

I wrote this story and poem awhile back but today I found it fitting to bring it back

Free to Dream

Sometimes I remember moments, stories of old, happy times and sad times. On this particular day it must have been 4:10 am, I was up I actually just got home from work. Thus the life of a bartender. I can not explain to you or anyone why this vivid thought came to me –a thought of years gone bye a thought of my brothers best friend in little league and of course elementary school. They were inseparable, both great athletes, especially baseball. They played on the same little league team and both were destined to start varsity baseball on their high school team as freshman. My brother TJ did exactly that but his friend Chris did not as Chris was lost to us and the world in a traffic accident. Boy, the hurt, the healing, the loss of a child is so wrong, so jolting –so as I pondered this memory I went on my fire escape of my apartment in the east village of NYC and wrote.

Free to dream

I remember a day long ago
My age at time escapes me
I was young, stupid and full of life
A kid wanting to be free

Yearning for that freedom
Like everyone else who was free
Free to buy beer
Drive a car
Live alone
Fly very far
Go out till 2 am or 4
Eat what I want
Pee, without closing the door
Be messy dirty or clean
Having to shave with a razor

By the way, what’s a wet dream?

Independent
Living the big life
No fear

Wow, this day long ago is becoming so vivid
Hey what’s this?
Tears

I see it
This day
I see it now
I left the corner store
I laugh
Start to run home
I couldn’t wait to tell my mom of my dreams
Hope she is not on the phone



When a noise in some direction
got so loud, so light, so bright
I looked just in time
This car hit me
Threw me clear
Clear out of sight

As my body crumpled
I fumbled with one thought
Mom
Left alone, sad and crying
She’ll be crying an awful lot

Mom, I am so sorry
Please tell me you can hear
Mommy
Can you help me?
Then she disappeared

Wondering what I did
Wondering how and why this would happen
To me or any kid

My dreams once so fib rant
Now echo of loss
I never will understand at just what cost