babies

I went to the grocery store the other day, shopping for my weekly groceries, some ground turkey, chicken thighs, potatoes, bananas and more when all of a sudden this shrieking alarm sounded. I instinctively froze for a second and then without regard headed for the exit. I do admit it was the highest pitch fire alarm I have ever heard, but still I headed to the exit walking quickly past the dairy and turned down the Asian theme isle when all of a sudden I stopped dead in my tracks. " WHAT THE HELL", the alarm I heard was not an alarm at all, it was a larger than usual baby boy, screaming and not liking his cart at all. Where was his mom, about 20 feet down the isle on her cell phone just talking away and shopping for something,not paying attention to her child. Well I thought you are kidding me, So I did what I thought was best. I rolled that cart with the screaming baby boy to its mother, "here you go".....She turned and gave me such a look of disdain and I said " now you know how we all feel ", get off your phone and care for your son. Then I grabbed some sriracha sauce and headed off to find my cart leaving behind now 2 screaming babies. Well I paid for my groceries and was placing them in the back seat of my truck when I heard "hey bud". I turned around and saw no one. "look down numb nuts". What the f. It was the baby boy I had encountered, "you talk?" I asked. "no"he shot back with a smile and a wink. I must be going crazy I thought to myself but if I was so be it. "So whats up little man"? "Don't call me that"....I just wanted to let you know we babies have something to say. O.K. what is it? we babies cry because we can not TALK! we cry because we wet our diapers, we cry because we are tired, we cry because we are hungry, we cry because we are scared, we do not know how to control our volume, no we won't be quiet, Oh is that a pacifier? Did I say we can't talk, if we could we would not be crying all the time. so sorry for interrupting your movie or for making your shopping less fun but we are not as bad as those dogs, sorry for ruining your meals and your romantic dinner and if you smell something very bad and we are crying god help you...I agreed with this larger than usual talking baby boy . I closed my door and turned back but the baby boy was gone, I knew that this was just my mind playing games on me, funny, but as I was about to get into my truck out came the mother carrying the baby boy on her shoulders and who now appeared asleep. I thought as she came closer that it is a tough tough job to be a parent and to be a baby and I forgive all babies for all their indiscretions of behavior. The mom and baby boy walked by me , the mom and myself exchanged smiles and as I watched her carry her sleeping baby boy he suddenly opened his eyes, smiled and winked, drooled on his moms shoulders then fell back to sleep. I laughed and got in my truck and have not stopped smiling. maybe this was not my mind playing tricks on me and the larger than usual baby boy was right...babies are not as bad as dogs.....